Finding Silver Linings

*Content Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics including sexual assault, domestic violence, and drug use. 

Despite the challenges she has faced, Maria maintains an optimistic attitude. April 2024.

When you meet Maria, you’ll find a lively and optimistic person, but life has dealt her an unfair hand, beginning when she was just a child. At seven years old, she was molested by a family member and, at 10, learned she was adopted, which shifted her world as she knew it. At 18, she got pregnant and moved to California where she had her baby and soon got into the first of several abusive relationships in which she was physically and mentally abused and raped.  

She described one of her relationships, saying, "he beat me up for five years... black and blue, black and blue.” Maria tried her best to escape her situation at home by teaching aerobics and pouring her energy into fitness, but at 23, her coping mechanisms took an unhealthy turn when she was introduced to drugs, quickly destroying everything she had.  

She had two children in her late 30s, but both were taken by *the Child and Family Well-Being Department. “They were taken from my arms; I never saw them again. I tried to get them back, but I was too heavily on drugs,” she said. 

After couch surfing for some time, Maria found herself homeless on the street in San Diego. Maria described that experience as “dirty all the time, trying to find places to use the bathroom, horrible.” During that time, Maria overdosed. It took three doses of Narcan to bring her back. The employees at the hospital asked Maria if she wanted to go to rehab. “I said ‘nope.’ My friends were there waiting with the dope, and they picked me up,” so she continued doing drugs.  

However, everything changed when Maria went to the emergency room for an extreme infection. During her recovery, she figured that since she was off drugs, she might as well stay off.  

After years of tragic experiences, she began to take her life back. “I know what I want. I want to be happy. And drugs did not make me happy, it took everything I ever loved from me.” 

Maria went into sober living and eventually met the criteria for ECS Uptown Safe Haven (UTSH). She has been living at UTSH for 10 months, and it has given her the ability to reshape her life with strength and intention. Maria said that UTSH has given her a positive environment where she can work on herself and feel safe. “They [UTSH] have good programs I participate in, the staff is wonderful, I’m very happy being here,” Maria explained. “They help me a lot here by working on myself... This is a new chapter in my life, and it has been the best year of my life.” 

UTSH has also helped Maria take better care of her physical and mental health. The impressive array of running shoes neatly lined up in her room at the safe haven proves her dedication to exercise, but her room is also full of clues to her mental health journey. On her desk rests a journal filled with daily intentions that Maria writes every morning. One of her latest entries lists things she is thankful for — the UTSH staff, her mom, her health, and her sobriety making up a few items on that list. 

Maria’s vision board keeps her on track toward achieving her goals. August 2024.

Above her desk, hangs a vision board which helps Maria actualize her dreams. The vision board includes everything from an iPhone to a cat to actor Jeremy Allen White. Her wall is decorated with countless inspirational phrases such as “I didn’t just survive, I thrived” and “I’ve never felt stronger.” Maria’s current goals are to save up for a new bike and her own apartment.  

Maria’s journey to recovery and finding herself has also helped her family relationships. She shared that she and her oldest daughter used to do drugs together, but six years ago her daughter got sober, encouraging Maria to follow suit. “We’re the tightest, she’s my best friend. She’s my biggest supporter and biggest cheerleader,” Maria said.  

Maria has faced countless obstacles, but she has found the strength to push past those challenges. Now, she wants to take the negative experiences of her own journey and spin them into something positive by helping others. Currently, Maria volunteers feeding the homeless every week, but her dream is to talk to other victims of domestic violence. She wants to inspire others to work on themselves, strive for sobriety, and reclaim their lives, turning the darkest parts of her life into silver linings. “Everything happens for a reason... It’s a beautiful life being sober,” she said. “It’s a beautiful life waking up and knowing you’re not getting beaten anymore... I’m so happy now.” 

With the support of programs like UTSH, Maria was able to turn her life into something beautiful. “I wake up proud of myself. I wake up alive and thank God for another day,” she said. “Becoming an independent woman is the best feeling ever. Working on yourself, knowing you can make it by yourself is the best feeling. I mean look at me, I’m about to have my own apartment for the first time. I’m so blessed and thankful for every day, for this roof, the staff, the food. I am so blessed.”    

UTSH is a residential facility that provides transitional housing and supportive services to chronically homeless single adults with moderate to severe mental health issues. To learn more visit ecscalifornia.org/uptown-safe-haven-1. 

*Formerly called Child Protective Services (CPS).

Beyond the Darkness of Substance Use Disorder

CERRC helps people facing SUDs to recover and find fullness in their lives without substances. April 2024.

At first glance, Giovanni’s life may have looked like everything anyone could ask for. A long and full relationship with a supportive spouse, a home with four great children, and overall, a beautiful, blended family. However, not everything was picture-perfect. Giovanni’s long-standing substance use disorder (SUD) plagued his life in many ways.

His SUD began when Giovanni was just a teenager, not far from his own kids’ current ages. He was kicked out of his childhood home at 17 years old and continued to use alcohol, cocaine, opioids, and other substances to avoid his problems. Even as he tried to push that obstacle aside over time, it would always return, interfering with his family life. Giovanni would keep up with family responsibilities to the bare minimum, but his craving to use would always pull him away, getting in the way of important tasks and even family outings. “My attitude would throw it off and ruin the day because I'd try to pick a fight so I could go drop them off at the house and do what I want to do,” Giovanni said. He also experienced several incidents of blacking out and being woken up by the police. As these incidents went on, Giovanni began to recognize the toll that his SUD was taking, not just on himself but his loved ones. “I realized it was taking a lot of time from my family and affecting them as well, especially my youngest one. He’d think that my behavior was normal; that that’s how you can act and treat your family. I’m trying to reverse that and change his outlook on how a man should be around his family.”

Giovanni describes his family as everything he’s ever wanted. August 2024.*

His family’s concern grew over time, worried that Giovanni would do something harmful or bring harm to himself. “[My wife] loved me, but she didn’t want to see me stuck in my addiction or behave the way I was behaving, just being so negative and depressed and down because I didn’t have control of myself or my emotions,” Giovanni explained.

The breaking point came when Giovanni blacked out and acted violently toward his family. He has no recollection of the incident himself, which scared him even more, knowing how quickly things could have turned into a complete disaster. “My wife told me that was the last incident she was going to accept,” Giovanni said. “She was scared. My kids were scared. It had been too many years of me using excuses... it was time for me to turn the page and start over and make sure it’s done right.”

Giovanni was incarcerated before moving on to recovery programs. He explained how after being pushed out of his childhood home, he always wanted his own family. But when he finally had those things, his SUD started to push that away, too. “I didn’t appreciate that until I was sitting in a cell by myself thinking about, ‘I have everything I asked for and wanted, and everything I prayed to God for,’ and I was just complaining about all of the responsibilities that I had. I realized I needed to change something.” So, Giovanni set his sights on sobriety.

Giovanni smiles for a photo with his wife and children. August 2024.*

He attended Heartland House, a men’s residential SUD recovery program before being referred to ECS Central East Regional Recovery Center (CERRC). Giovanni shared that it was initially difficult to commit to CERRC, sitting in class after already graduating from the previous program. However, once he began listening to others’ experiences and sharing his own stories, “it was empowering. It was new and different.” He shared that “I tried [to get sober] before by myself without any help or programs or anything, and I’d go a couple of months, but I didn’t have people explaining to me how to deal with my emotions or my feelings... just hearing those things and people that supported me, sharing their stories with me makes me want to make sure I get it right the first time.”

CERRC offered the support that Giovanni needed. “The staff here — Monic, Reiko, Skylar — they’re supportive, and they’re strong, and they make it easy to relate with them because they also have their history and share their stories with you and explain how they got to this part of their life,” Giovanni said. “It’s inspiring to see people change and be able to help others.” The staff at CERRC also gave Giovanni many coping skills to overcome his SUD and confront his problems head-on instead of turning to substances. “ECS helped me out with how to understand my emotions, how to deal with them, and not to use substances to try to drown and escape those feelings,” he said.

Giovanni graduated from CERRC after about four months in the program. Since then, his relationship with his family and his own career goals have taken a turn for the better. Giovanni passed a drug test for the first time since he was 14 years old. He got a security job, joined an online fitness group that offers support from members across the globe and obtained his Class A driver’s license, a longtime goal of his. “I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I was under the influence. I always talked about doing it, wanting to do it, but I never took the initiative or the step forward to try to do it,” Giovanni said.

Giovanni speaks of his wife as his greatest supporter and teammate. August 2024.*

With the help of CERRC, Giovanni has his family back, too. While talking about his wife, Giovanni described how impactful her support has been to him, as well. “Having her around strengthens me and shows me that people do believe in me, even if they see the flaws,” he said. “She’s a big help, she’s a great woman.” He described their marriage as a team that built a blended family. “I try to be the best role model for my kids and best partner for my wife as I can be,” Giovanni said.

While at CERRC, Giovanni learned the value of patience in his sobriety journey, moving one step at a time to go forward, even when it gets hard. “It’s not worth reverting back, pressing rewind, and losing all that progress that we gained and everything that we learned just for a high or to escape that moment,” he said. “The high is just temporary, but your life is more important than just the high.” Giovanni shared that although it can be daunting to take that step, “it’s not a bad thing to grow and change your lifestyle and express yourself. ECS teaches you how to do that. They’re a big support, and sometimes you need support whether you think you do or not. It’s good to have somebody to talk to and show you a different way, a new way.”

Thanks to CERRC, Giovanni can step up as the husband and father he knows he can be and strive to accomplish his goals. “Thank you to ECS, the program, and everybody in here... they really truly helped.”

To learn more about CERRC, visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/central-east-regional-recovery-center.

*Caption dates may not be exact.

Letter from a Grateful Para Las Familias Parent

Read Spanish Translation Here/Lea la Traducción al Español Aquí

ECS Para Las Familias (PLF) is an outpatient behavioral and mental health clinic for low-income children ages 0 to 12 and their families. PLF’s bilingual therapists provide a variety of early-childhood mental health services that aim to strengthen guardian-child bonds, address behavioral issues, boost confidence, give tools for successful parenting, and more. Former PLF parent Alicia expresses her gratitude for the program in the following letter:

To whom it may concern,

First of all, I want to thank Para Las Familias for all their support towards my family. Everything we have learned is thanks to them, from the Zoom courses with Angie Puffelis through the Circle of Security; I liked it so much and understood so much that I took it again for eight more weeks to reinforce what I learned. In each class, one could express any doubts and achievements over time.

When the classes ended, I wanted to continue learning more about motherhood and how to help my son. So, I asked for more information and that was when they gave my son and I the opportunity to start therapy with "his Miss Letty," a person so noble and upright in her work.

We learned a lot as parents since my husband and I, along with my son, attended therapy together. My son has learned a lot and we along with him. There were a lot of breakthroughs, I could say a lot of things about her... but in short, she is a professional at what she does... My son still remembers her and every day he asks about her and Mrs. Elizabeth who is the best person to receive parents. She is so cute and so nice, polite, and always available to answer any questions, or any doubts, or other needs. The truth is that they have a super team: Laura, Irene, Miss Margarita, Nancy. Every time I go, I feel at home because that is how they make us feel when we arrive. All the scheduled appointments are respected, they never make us wait, and if there is need to reschedule, or accommodations are needed, there are always options to agree to carry out the appointments in case one of the two sides cannot...

In general, from my point of view, therapy is the best for me. I am taking therapy right now with Angie, and wooo yes, I leave with a lot of information that I can put into practice at home. I am also with Miss Margarita with a nephew in therapy, and she has helped me a lot to understand his emotions and see through his eyes. To put myself in his place and thus help him a lot.

I am so grateful because I know that Para Las Familias came into our lives at the exact moment to be able to continue moving forward as a family and as first-time parents. We already have many tools to continue life and what I love the most is that the Circle of Security applies to any person of any age and is very well understood.

You never leave empty-handed. The children always leave with stickers, snacks, or a small toy. The attention they give to each child is extraordinary, I definitely recommend this beautiful place. They also help you with a lot of resources, information for support either pantry, activities for children, or more courses, etc...

Thank you so much for everything and God bless anyone who reads these humble words...

These are the words of a grateful mother with a heart willing to learn with her family. The road is not easy, but I know that little by little and with patience everything will work out.

Alicia’s story is just one example of how PLF can make a profound difference in people's lives. We are grateful for her willingness to share her journey with us. These heartfelt words from a grateful mother show her dedication to learning and growing with her family. The road is not easy, but with patience and perseverance, progress is made, little by little.

THANK YOU, PARA LAS FAMILIAS.

Donate today to provide funding and support to help families like Alicia’s.

The Power of Faith & Love

SAN DIEGO — As an artist, social activist, and kind soul, ECS Uptown Safe Haven (UTSH) resident Faith is filled with joy and hope thanks to your generous support.

Faith poses with some of her artwork in her room at UTSH. April 2024.

However, the Faith you see today is not the same person you would have met last November when she arrived at UTSH.

Originally from South Carolina, Faith moved to Washington, DC, in her 20s, where she built a successful career as a sous chef. During this phase of her life, she started her gender-affirming transition and witnessed her self-confidence flourish as she embraced her true identity.

Then, suddenly, her life took a sharp turn when she experienced a violent act by a family member, triggering a period of debilitating depression. “I could not work in kitchens anymore, which was the love of my life,” she shared. “I lost everything — my house, car, friends, everything.”

She attempted to get back on her feet by accepting a job offer in San Diego, but when she arrived, she discovered the offer to be a scam, leaving her without income or shelter.

Experiencing homelessness and having no support system, her downward spiral continued as she faced persistent violence while living on the street, including being beaten and left for dead.

While recovering at the hospital, Faith was fortunate to connect with a therapist who helped her secure a place at the ECS Uptown Safe Haven. This crucial intervention provided the stability she needed to change her trajectory, a testament to the impact of your support.

“I was in a women’s shelter for a while and had nothing going for me. My transition had stopped. I didn’t have hope for housing,” she sighed before enthusiastically offering, “I came here, and it’s been a complete 180. I feel so much better.”

“It’s given me the second chance that I needed,” Faith continued. “I feel so re-energized now. I’m in such a better place now.”

Art is a source of self-care for Faith. April 2024.

Thanks to the love you have shown through your gifts to ECS, Faith now has the strength to forge a new path forward. “I’m in school again. I’m going to be a surgical tech in plastic surgery — a new career field that I’m really excited about.”

While living at UTSH, Faith focuses on creating art as part of her self-care therapy. “It keeps my mind super busy and helps with my anxiety and depression tremendously.”

When asked about her love for flowers and landscapes as subjects for her art, she revealed, “They're perfectly imperfect. That's what I love about them. They're kind of like people.”

Faith’s journey is supported by our UTSH Program Manager, Raul Verdugo.

““It’s all in the name — Uptown Safe Haven. It truly is a safe haven. It gives residents the opportunity to feel safe, and feeling safe allows for a positive change in their lives.””

— Raul Verdugo, UTSH Program Manager

As the program manager, Raul and his team go far beyond providing shelter and food for 19 residents. Thanks to your support, they can provide hope and stability along with services such as educational guidance, on-site support groups, and a manageable mental health plan, all of which are crucial in transforming lives.

Raul and Renee at work at UTSH. April 2024.

Faith recently wrote a note of gratitude to Raul and UTSH Resident Assistant Renee Coleman sharing the lifesaving impact of UTSH.

“Because of places like this, I have hope now,” Faith said.

Visit Uptown Safe Haven to learn more.