Moonlight Ball 2024: Embraced by ECS

Sandra and her family attend the Moonlight Ball and share their story of ECS’ impact on their lives. May 2024.

Sandra had already raised four children, but nine years ago, she was unexpectedly tasked with raising two of her grandchildren, years after her kids had left the nest. Isabella and Isaac came into Sandra’s life and were in her words, “a gift from God.” Even so, the situation was not easy. “Basically, it was like starting over 23 years later,” Sandra said. “And I’m older, when you’re physically older it’s hard. You don’t have the same physical energy.”  

One of Sandra’s daughters was diagnosed with severe and visible mental illness when she was very young. When she reached her late twenties, Sandra’s daughter also developed a substance use disorder (SUD). Between her mental illness and SUD, “she went downhill fast,” as Sandra put it. Due to her destructive behavior, she was no longer able to live at home with her mother. 

“She told me she was pregnant, but I looked at her and all I saw was a very skinny person. I didn’t believe her,” Sandra said. A few months later, however, Sandra received a call from her daughter in labor and Isabella was born. Child Protective Services was called, and Isabella went to foster care. “I applied to get her, but it took about four and a half months because I was living in a big house, and I was renting rooms, so everybody had to be cleared,” Sandra said. In the meantime, Sandra visited Isabella with her foster mom, working to forge a bond with her granddaughter. 

Sandra acquired custody of Isabella, but another surprise was close behind when 15 months after Isabella was born, Sandra’s daughter gave birth to a second child — Isaac. Isaac also went to foster care, but because he went to the same foster mom as his sister, Sandra was able to get custody in just nine days. 

Suddenly a mother again, Sandra needed help. She asked her social worker for recommendations and ECS Head Start was suggested. “My thing was the expense of childcare and a trustworthy place to take my children, because I always had that fear. Even with my other kids, I was afraid to leave them with strangers,” Sandra explained. Because foster children count as “no income,” Isabella and Isaac were able to attend Head Start free of charge, alleviating financial stress. Head Start also met Sandra where she was in terms of trust. “I felt a trust in that woman [at Head Start Home Base] immediately. I mean I worked at U.S. customs; I think I’m pretty good at reading people. But I trusted her right away,” Sandra said. 

Isaac (front row, second from the right) recieved support from Home Based Head Start along with his sister. *May 2024.

Head Start provided free trustworthy childcare, but Sandra was struck by the ways in which the program went above and beyond those basics. “[The teacher] helped me with everything, she helped me with teaching her how to eat properly, to the basic manners, helping potty train her,” Sandra said. 

Sandra’s grandchildren attended Head Start for five years, starting when Isabella was a toddler and Isaac was just an infant. “The biggest thing I wanted was trust, my child to be happy, and my child to learn. And I felt all those needs were met,” Sandra said. She described how Head Start helped Isabella and Isaac learn good behavior, establish a routine, and get excited to go to school. The center even helped Sandra’s children learn to brush their teeth and use eating utensils. “They were happy,” she said. “When you work, and you take your child somewhere you want them to learn and be happy.” By the time the two children went to kindergarten, they were prepared. Sandra shared that the T-K teacher at their new school commented “‘I love Head Start kids... they behave, they already have the basics.’” 

Head Start made an important difference in the lives of Sandra and her grandchildren. But life was still not entirely smooth sailing. Sandra and the teachers at Head Start noticed that Isaac seemed behind in his development. Sandra explained that it took him longer to sit, walk, and talk. He would scream to express himself and he even lashed out at a teacher and another student. Head Start evaluated Isaac and after hearing their family story and background, he was recommended to therapy. Head Start connected Sandra and her grandchildren to ECS Para Las Familias (PLF) and they signed up. 

Sandra and Isaac began working with Eladia, a PLF therapist. Isaac enjoyed therapy and “I noticed he matured,” Sandra said. “I was able to use the tools that Eladia showed me.” Although he started out frustrated with his inability to vocalize himself, “with the work and time he became able to calm down and to share,” Sandra said. 

Isaac made progress through his sessions, but Isabella needed help, too. Other children had started asking Sandra’s children questions about their family situation, putting them in a confusing situation. Other kids wanted to know why they lived with their grandma, why they had a foster mom, and why they got visits from their biological mom. But Isabella did not know the answers to these questions. “She was very confused about all this and adults talking and not understanding her story,” Sandra explained. 

PLF helped Isabella gain confidence in herself and understanding her family. May 2024.

Eladia told Sandra to gather all the pictures she had of the kids in the hospital, with the foster mom, with Sandra’s family, and with their biological mother. Sandra brought the pictures to PLF and described how Eladia “had these two blank books, and she wrote ‘my story’ for Isabella, and ‘my story’ for Isaac, and she put [the pictures of them] with their mom in the hospital, with the foster mom, the steps, and why they were not able to live with their mother.” Now, Isabella can confidently understand her situation. “Isabella’s not embarrassed, she’s very open,” Sandra said. “[Her friends] introduce me to their mothers they go ‘this is Isabella’s grandma. Isabella’s adopted.’ They all know.” Sandra expressed relief that she can openly discuss anything going on with her family without worrying what Isabella will overhear. “I can see that she’s more compassionate, more understanding,” Sandra said of her granddaughter. 

The photo albums were so impactful that Sandra shared the strategy with the grandparents' group she is a part of and encouraged them to also embrace honesty with the grandchildren they are raising. She explained that with the help of PLF, “[The children] are happy and well-adjusted even though they’re not with their bio mom.” 

PLF aided Sandra’s grandchildren in learning to share, cope, and understand. “All of that helped a lot,” Sandra said. “It gave me tools to guide them.” 

Recently, Sandra discovered that Isaac has anxiety. Sandra described how he was afraid of water, going to the bathroom alone, and trying new activities. His anxiety hindered his ability to participate and enjoy himself, and he even stopped eating enough. Sandra took Isaac back to PLF and together they worked with child and family therapist Margarita McFadden to learn coping strategies. Sandra now has the tools remind Isaac “stop, take a minute, breathe, calm down.” Over time, Isaac gained more confidence, became more open, and displayed more affection. “Now he’ll even put his feet in the ocean which he would never even go close to, but now he does,” Sandra said.  

PLF will continue to be a rock for Sandra and Isaac, as she has decided to enroll him in therapy every other year to help support him as he continues to grow. “I found it very very helpful, and you know, with anxiety, it’s never going to go away,” Sandra remarked. 

ECS gave Isabella and Isaac the foundation they need to succeed. *May 2024.

PLF made a big difference in Sandra’s family. She has applied the tools she’s learned at PLF with her other grandchildren, advised her other daughter to take her son to therapy, and recommended PLF to several families in her grandparents’ group. Sandra explained that PLF’s impact will be lifelong:  

“In the back of my mind always now is that I’m going to be 66 in May. And [Isabella and Isaac] are eight and nine. So, in 10 years I’ll be 76 and they’ll be 18... their chance of me living until they’re past 30 will be a miracle. So, I need to do what I can to make them strong, confident,” Sandra said.  

Sandra hopes that the lessons learned through PLF and Head Start will be lifelines for her grandchildren that will serve them even when she cannot.  

While her grandchildren attended Head Start, Sandra attended parent meetings for several years. Eventually, Head Start came to her when the ECS Board of Directors was in search of a Head Start parent to join the board. Sandra kept it simple: “I really loved Head Start for a lot of reasons, so I said ‘yeah.’” 

After joining, she explained how she wasn’t aware of the many programs under ECS. “I thought ‘wow, this is exciting.’ They run all these programs and I really felt like Head Start was a savior to me in a couple of ways. One, the childcare, the saving on expense of childcare. The fact that I felt comfortable and happy, and that my kids were safe, learning... I could see my kids were happy,” she said. 

Sandra enjoyed her two and a half years on the board, where she was able to share her firsthand experience as a Head Start parent, helping current parents and aiding the board in their decisions. Sandra continues to give back to ECS by serving on the Behavioral Health Committee, sponsoring a family in ECS’ annual Family-to-Family, and serving a dish at the CERRC Thanksgiving luncheon.  

Sandra commented that “I feel that the more people that love your baby, the better.” At ECS love and generosity is always prioritized with clients. Whether they be an infant at Head Start, an adult seeking SUD treatment, or anything in between, ECS offers support for community members. 

ECS’ mission is to break barriers and transform communities. Through children’s services, drug and alcohol treatment programs, and homeless services, ECS aims to uplift those in the San Diego community and strive for a brighter future. For more information on ECS or any of the individual programs visit www.ecscalifornia.org. 

*Caption dates may not be exact.

A Legacy of Love and Support

SAN DIEGO — ECS could not serve the San Diego community without the generosity and dedication of donors like Steve and Elaine Turnbull. The Turnbulls have been a part of the ECS community for many years; Steve is a former president of the ECS Board of Directors, and Elaine has helped organize the annual fundraising gala for many years.  

Steve and Elaine at the ECS gala. May 2022.

Their relationship with ECS goes even deeper than their service to the organization. When Elaine’s brother needed drug and alcohol treatment, Central East Regional Recovery Center (CERRC) brought him in right away. “His life totally turned around,” Elaine said. The Turnbulls also had a granddaughter who was a foster child at one point. “When I heard what Para Las Familias (PLF) did... to get [children] to bond to their parents or foster parents, to experience that and kind of have a do-over, that really appealed to me that they could do that much for kids,” Steve said. Since then, ECS has been special to the Turnbulls.  

“My heart is really into all the things they do,” Steve remarked. “Drug and alcohol recovery is an important thing to us in our past and our family. Para Las Familias is an important one, foster kids and others who often go into that program. Head Start, I like to see it grow in all of its dimensions... I just think [ECS] is growing, and I love watching it thrive.” 

The Turnbulls are looking forward to this year’s fundraising gala. The event allows them to give back, make connections, and see change in the making. Elaine shared that they enjoy “meeting all kinds of people throughout the diocese and making a lot of connections that way... we invite people that we might be able to get involved working with ECS.” Their connections expand to those receiving support from ECS programs as well. “Talking to clients and becoming acquainted... to be able to go the next year and you know them by name, you can tell a lot of good is getting done,” Steve remarked. “We’re making a difference in their lives; many of those clients are now giving back to ECS, as well,” Elaine added.  

The funds that ECS receives through donations are vital for program impact. Steve shared that donations have helped the growth of PLF and CERRC. Many smaller necessities also depend on donations, ensuring that clients have everything they need. “Things many of us take for granted are so important to those individuals,” Elaine said. 

ECS aims to uplift the entire San Diego community. “You don’t have to be an Episcopalian to be a beneficiary of ECS,” Steve said, to which Elaine followed up “It’s about all of God’s people.” The Turnbulls have been longtime ECS donors, and the organization is grateful they continue to choose ECS as a place of giving. Steve explained that they keep choosing ECS because they see it as “well established, has a reputation for caring, broad, really works to meet the needs of San Diego,” he said. “They do a lot of good services and I think the services they provide fit. They dovetail with some of the needs that the county health can’t, for the homeless for example... that’s worth investing in.”  

Join ECS for the 2024 Moonlight Ball to celebrate the impact of ECS and contribute to the transformative efforts being made. “It’s one of the topnotch organizations, nonprofits in the city,” Steve said. With the help of donors like the Turnbulls, ECS can help ensure that “more people are getting the services needed and information needed to move in a positive direction,” Elaine said. For more information on ECS’ programs, the Moonlight Ball, and ways to give, visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/.  

Strengthening Families with PLF

Hezekiah’s family poses for a picture at an ice rink. *February 2024.

SAN DIEGO – When a person or family comes to ECS for help, the goal is not to give them a band-aid and send them on their way but to provide them with resources and support that will last them a lifetime. Hezekiah, a former Para Las Familias (PLF) parent and current ECS board member, went through therapy at PLF with his two children, and although the family graduated from the program about three years ago, they can still see the impact in their lives today.  

Hezekiah has shared his family’s journey with the ECS community in the past, explaining how he went through a divorce and how that unexpected change, along with the COVID-19 pandemic, created extreme challenges for his children. 

“Our family was torn apart by that divorce,” Hezekiah said. “There was this kind of seismic shift that brought about immense heartache and turmoil into everyone’s life.” When presented with this challenge, he was unsure who to turn to or how to ask for help. “From one day to the next, you’re now a single parent,” Hezekiah said as he recalled how hard it was to watch his children process this change. The obstacles in front of them seemed too big to take on. “The consistency of the instability was replaced with confusion, anger, and an overwhelming sense of loss,” Hezekiah said. 

Hezekiah’s parents fostered several children during his childhood, so he was familiar with early childhood mental health services and the importance of forming a secure attachment. He had also heard of PLF years earlier when they were doing outreach. The situation he found himself in was challenging, but PLF was there when he and his family needed someone to turn to.  

Hezekiah’s daughter enjoys arts and crafts at school. *February 2024.

“Together with Para Las Familias, we began to rebuild these broken bonds and started to nurture this secure attachment that paved the way for feeling and a reversal of a lot of that trauma we had all endured,” Hezekiah said.  

Both of Hezekiah’s children benefited greatly from the services at PLF. His daughter used to have emotional outbursts and often isolated herself. Hezekiah shared how she used to struggle with transitions, making daily tasks like getting ready for school and entering her classroom each morning hard. “She refused it. She would yell and say, ‘I’m not going to go to school.’ And on the first day of kindergarten, she ran off, tore her clothes off, tried to hop the fence that same day and we had principals, teachers, everybody just running around. It looked like something out of a cartoon,” he said. “It was very challenging.” Now, with the work learned at PLF, her transition time to the classroom only takes a minute. His daughter can express herself, communicate her feelings, and has become what Hezekiah called a “model student” in the classroom.

His son deals with anxiety and the urge to achieve constant perfection. As a result, he used to become very upset at losing, but now he knows it doesn’t matter. Hezekiah recalled how, while watching a movie in which a character lost, his son said, “‘It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you helped people.’” These lessons that PLF has helped children learn at a young age are crucial for future relationships. 

Hezekiah’s son smiles while exploring the outdoors. *February 2024.

Hezekiah spoke about the importance of viewing disabilities and mental health with inclusivity and understanding, practices that PLF teaches. “Instead of trying to get those individuals with those disabilities to conform with our society, we need to be able to be more accommodating with them,” Hezekiah said. “ECS provided those lifetime tools to help him [his son] and help those individuals around him better support him.”  

During his experience with PLF, Hezekiah and his children developed a secure attachment style, which has guided their relationship in the years since therapy. When someone told the family to leave a place of worship because his daughter was crying, Hezekiah said “You know what, we’re going to wait here until she’s ready”... I think something changed in that moment… I think she knew that I was going to be with her through thick and thin, and I wasn’t going to take anybody else’s side.”  

Having patience, respecting dignity, and maintaining a healthy structure are key PLF lessons that Hezekiah applies daily. “I’ve never once had to raise my voice… they know that it’s coming out of a place of love,” he said. 

PLF Program Manager Leslie Manriquez-Jimenez and Transitional Age Youth (TAY) Program Manager Karla Alonso worked with the Hezekiah family as their therapists while they were going through the program. Regarding Hezekiah’s PLF parenting journey, Manriquez-Jimenez commented that he “really took the program, took the tools he learned here and went with it, and we can see the impact it had for years to come.” PLF aims to equip families with the tools to overcome obstacles not only in their present lives, but years into their futures. The therapists help parents develop a sense of confidence in themselves “and what that does is they test what works with their children and their relationship with that child so, whenever some new behavior comes up, they are able to show up for their kids and trust their intuition. They’re not trusting interventions; they're trusting their intuition and that’s what we’re helping them develop here,” Manriquez-Jimenez said. 

Hezekiah’s children smile together for a photo. *February 2024.

Since becoming the Program Manager at PLF, Manriquez-Jimenez has seen PLF nearly double the number of families they work with and expand to help children ages 6-12. She said, “We see that ripple effect going family-wide and community-wide. The more families we get to work with the more we get to hear them pass down what we teach them.” 

In 2022 Hezekiah became a member of the ECS Board of Directors. When asked to take on the role, Hezekiah responded “Whatever you need, I am forever indebted.” He expressed how glad he is to see the expansion of PLF’s program reach a larger age range of children. He enjoys the opportunities the board gives him to spread the word on what ECS offers and the impact of its programs, especially as a former client.  

“It’s okay to ask for help. We’re not alone in this journey. There are resources and people to support you and your kids through these difficult times that you’re going through,” Hezekiah said. “At Para Las Familias you’re not a number. You’re family. I’m quite positive of that. That embrace, and that desire for all of us to grow is there.” 

Para Las Familias (PLF) is an outpatient behavioral and mental health clinic that provides a range of bilingual early childhood mental health services to low-income children 0 to 12 years old. Therapists at PLF provide screening, assessment, family and group therapy, school observation, teacher/provider consultation, and parenting groups. In addition, PLF also provides adult mental health services and weekly parenting groups. For more information visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/para-las-familias.  

*Caption dates may not be exact.

Stepping-Stones to Stability

Diana and her dog Molly. September 2023.

SAN DIEGO – Diana was at the lowest point of her life prior to finding help at C-HRT Safe Haven. She was trapped in a domestic violence situation, living on the streets, addicted to drugs, and battling untreated mental illness. According to the 2023 Point-in-Time Count conducted by the Regional Task Force on the Homeless, Diana was one of approximately 10,264 homeless individuals in San Diego County. “It’s just crazy how it just spiraled, then you become clueless and helpless, and you don’t know what to do. And it’s like people shun you; they don’t want to help you,” she shared. “I was just tired of it.”

Thankfully, in December of 2022, Diana was referred to C-HRT and began her journey forward. Sam Fookes, C-HRT Safe Haven Program Manager, observed, “Diana arrived at C-HRT Safe Haven as a very quiet person who mostly kept to herself.” Diana herself said, “The first day I showed up here [at C-HRT] … whenever I left out of here, I don’t know why, I cried. I was scared because it was the first time I actually took a step to do something for me.”

Diana was lost, confused, and afraid to face life alone. However, the C-HRT community ensured she had the support she needed. “It has been a privilege to watch her grow into a strong, independent individual,” Fookes added. Diana spoke about the transformative impact of the safe haven, highlighting everything from the simple joys of privacy and home-cooked meals to the invaluable mental health services and the sense of stability it provided her. “This place has been a major stepping-stone for me,” she stated.

Since moving into C-HRT, the services and support have helped Diana regain control of her thoughts and direction in life. “I started seeing the mental health people a lot more and started feeling more settled here,” she said. “Now I feel like I can come home to something and be okay, be safe.” Fookes noted, “She has even expanded her family by adopting a furry friend named Molly. Molly has completely changed Diana’s worldview, and she truly puts herself and her family first.”

The program also helped Diana prepare for the path ahead. “I am excited to learn what new opportunities and achievements Diana will make with the support of the C-HRT Safe Haven community behind her,” said Fookes. Diana has decided to revamp her cleaning service here in San Diego. She has acquired her LLC, customers, and even a website for her business.

A sense of family and stability has also been prominent to Diana at C-HRT. “I’ve never had that close-knit family,” she said. With the staff and other clients at C-HRT, “you get to see these people day in, day out now, it’s like they’re family, it’s like they’re your brothers or sisters,” she stated.

The Community Harm Reduction Team (C-HRT) Safe Haven serves up to 22 unhoused residents living with chronic substance use conditions and is a partnership between the County of San Diego, the City of San Diego, Family Health Centers, and Episcopal Community Services. Mental health services, substance use disorder aid, and help to achieve stability are just a few ways the program supports its residents.

You can make a tangible difference in the lives of residents like Diana by donating your time, talents, or funds to support their healing journey. For more information, visit ECS California C-HRT Safe Haven.